Whenever my neighbors go on vacation or go out for the weekend they call on me to feed their cats. they have two of them: julia-an older cat that hisses at me even after i've fed her. and Malloy - a stray that they took in last summer. he is blind in one eye, but the happiest cat ever. he actually has a little bounce in his step.

my neighbors called me up today they said they just left the house, but can't find Malloy. They asked me if I could go over and look for him. I found it great to be outside. I hardly ever go outside, for some reason I can never feel comfortable. as i was walking around their yard i saw newspapers on the porch, tons of sports equipment, rarely touched. chairs and tables worn and beaten from the weather. i wondered how many times they actually sat out on them. how many times does anybody with lawn chairs actually use them besides when entertaining guests? Yet there are always gorgeous flowers lining the houses, the grass is always cut, and watered by sprinklers to keep green. for no other purpose then to keep up appearances. Everyone goes through this, but for what? show me someone who isn't trying to win a contest. show me somehow who actually stops to enjoy their life. to enjoy all the things they work to achieve. i guess more people need to get outside too.

i eventually found malloy walking on the edge of their property where trees stood towering and the grass was still tall. he looked just like a little lion, hunting game. i crept up to where he was and saw that he was chasing a bird. he pounced and it flew away. i sat down to play with him. he is one of the most lovable creatures to exist. he rolled all over the ground, giving me hugs and playing with my shoes. i took off my hoodie and used it as a pillow for me to lay down on. i stared up at the sky. it was such a beautiful day. i wanted to call someone and invite them over for a picnic. more then once i wished i had a fucking digital camera to capture this moment. i imagined what it would be like to lay there when it was dark and the stars shone bright. oh the wishes i would make.

the freshly cut grass was getting everywhere. it covered my hoodie, the back of my shirt, it was in my hair. i tired to brush off my hoodie, but it was everywhere. i didn't worry about my shirt. i'm not trying to keep up appearances. i just want to be real. i eventually sat up to find malloy staring at the bushes. Something was moving, it turned out to be a groundhog running across to find it's hole. malloy and i followed it silently. the groundhog lived near the shed that we used to say was haunted. i didn't feel afraid. until the neighbor's dog came out of nowhere, barked, and scared the shit out of malloy and me.

we eventually headed inside. when i walked, he walked. when i ran, he ran. when i stopped, he stopped. he followed my every move, being a companion that i never had, and assume that one could only find in a cat. i let him inside and fed him. even though i didn't want the moment to end. Experiencing peace and happiness in a world filled with doubt can be hard to find at times.

grass is still clinging to my shirt.

everybody has a dream car. when i was younger mine was in the form of a motor home. which would be owned my both me and Alyssa and would be decorated entirely with cow print. Alyssa and i made plans to travel the country. i would drive and she would paint. Alyssa is one of the most creative and talented people I know. and i had passion. all i wanted to do was travel on the wind and see the world.

we would sell her paintings, which of coarse would be of cows and make money that way. i remember the exact tree we sat under when we planned this. i remember how much we laughed and giggled about it because even then we knew it was absurd. but it was a plan i was making with my best friend. it was a plan i swore would come true.

today Alyssa and i are still best friends. she is still creative and talented. i am still passionate and want to travel with the wind. i still want to travel the country in a large bus, though preferably not with a cow pattern printed all over it. hopefully it will be filled with rock stars.